What destroys that special tie?

Not every woman is made to be a perfect mother. Not every child is an angel. But what happens when those two attitudes meet? When a mother does not want to have a child and a child shows his hatred towards the mother and the whole world? 

Such problem has been depicted in a gloomy and thought provoking “We need to talk about Kevin” (2011) directed by Lynne Ramsay. Eva (Tilda Swinton) has not been dreaming  to be a mother. Her depression stems from all her problems  started by the unwanted pregnancy: complete change of her foregoing life, the end of carelessness and her career. Kevin (Ezra Miller) from the early childhood notices his mother’s dislike. She does not hide it, anyway. There is a very powerful scene in this movie when Eva, exhausted and irritated, shouts to her little son: “Mommy was happy before little Kevin came along. And now mommy wakes up every morning... and wishes she was in France!”.
 

                                         

The little boy grows up in a sense, that he is an obstacle in his mother’s life and career. That is why Kevin feels the great envy after his little sister is born. Celia gets from the beginning what he lacked: the love of the mother, being a longed-for child. That is why he hates her, as he hates everything that makes his mother happy. He wishes Eva to suffer. 

There is no strong tie between Eva and Kevin. The mother does  not know how to find common ground with her son. The boy seems to despise Eva, ignoring her orders and dedicating all his love to the father. The role of the father is secondary, however. The boy uses the dad just to manipulate him and to emphasise who is his favourite parent. This, at the end of the movie, occurs to be just a game: we know that Kevin never loved his family.
 

 Both Kevin and Eva have problems with showing their emotions. The boy notices affectation of his mother. He knows that her behaviour is just a pose and she never shows her true emotions. By his actions he tries to push her to do so. Destroying her room, using emotional abuse and, finally, killing the father and his little sister he wants to not only gain her attention, but also provoke her to reveal her true feelings towards him. He expects it to be hatred. However, their last dialogue “I want you to tell me why” “I used to think I knew. Now I’m not so sure” shows the true power of mother love: he used to think his mother hated him from the beginning. Her visit in jail proves that she always loved him, no matter how did he harm her.